FAQ

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What does decolonial kink mean?

Everyone is welcome to get skills at Kinky Tapas, our learning space is inclusive of gender, race, and sexual orientation. Decolonial kink means that our space centers the experience of communities marginalized by colonialism. At Kinky Tapas you can expect to have conversations that help us all understand the impact of systemic and interpersonal racism has on our kinky spaces. If you're committed to dismantling colonial ideas of the erotic, gender and sexuality - you'll benefit from our decolonial approach to kinky skills.

Marla and Luna are experienced in decolonial approaches to kink (check out the Race and Kink Monthly Discussions!) and approach education in a mindful and intentional way. The goal is to empower you to create beautiful kinky experiences and minimize harm for yourself, your partners and the community.

Can I bring my partner(s)?

Absolutely! Improve your skills with your partner. You can bring a romantic partner, a life partner, a play partner, or even a bestie! While a partner isn't necessary for Kinky Tapas, having your partner there allows you to practice in real time. Ask us about Couples Discounts for Kinky Tapas.

No partner? No problem. There will be opportunities for practice for both bottoms and tops, including with Marla and Luna.

Is this event only for women?

Nope! This event is for everyone regardless of your gender identity. We speak in gender neutral and technical terms, so that it’s accessible regardless of what you were assigned at birth.

Is this event only for people of color?

Nope! See the FAQ on 'What is Decolonial Kink'.

How many people will be attending?

We have limited space in order to keep the group small. You can expect a group of approximately 15-20 people.

What is a 'vetting certificate'?

Vetting is the process of assessing whether kinky partners and spaces are aligned with your safety and pleasure goals. As vetted and experienced kinksters, Marla and Luna are guiding you through building a kinky skills foundation that helps you vet others and be vettable yourself. Your vetting certificate is signed by Marla and Luna to commemorate your skill building at Kinky Tapas.

Will there be nudity or live sex?

There will be nudity on occasion if the practice requires it for proper technical instruction. You will never be required to participate in a session if you are uncomfortable or uninterested in the technique. Participants and instructors will not be nude or engaging in live sex.

Is this a hands-on event? Will I get to practice techniques?

Absolutely! We will be practicing with and on each other. You will get guided and supervised support to practice on your body or others. At anytime, you can choose to observe only or take a break from the demonstration sections. You are not required to do or observe anything that doesn't feel right for you. We will be asking you about your interests and boundaries during the intake process, and catering our education to the group's needs.

I’m a complete newbie - is this an appropriate event for me?

It sure is! We welcome beginners and those with intermediate kink skills who want to learn more. We will not be teaching advanced or more technical kink activities such as needle play, piercing, sounding or blood chokes. If you want to know if we'll be talking about your kinky interest - reach out.

Do I have to attend all the sessions? What if I’m not into certain topics?

Hell no! Do you boo! You can feel free to attend the things you want to do. If you are not into certain topics, you can definitely opt out of the teachings. We will have alternative assignments for you to develop your skills if you opt out of a session. We will be asking you about your interests and boundaries during the intake process, and catering our education to the group's needs.

Will I get to meet the other participants before?

We will have a meet and greet the day before the workshops begin, where you can meet participants and Marla and Luna. This event is optional and location/venue is TBD, but it will be close to Sub Rosa Dungeon.

Do we have to pay all at once?

No, you don’t! We have payment plans available, contact us. Keep your eye out for Early Bird Pricing Deadlines.

What happens if I have to cancel?

You will be able to get a full refund up to 3 weeks before the event. After that, you will get 50% up to one week before the event. The week of the event, you will not receive a refund.

How do we get to the venue?

You’ll be provided with details about where to get to the event venues closer to the date. Transportation to and from are your responsibility. Within the group there might be opportunities for ride-sharing or travel buddies.

Can you book my flights?

No, you must book your own flight.

What COVID precautions are you taking?

You will have to upload your vaccination card when purchasing your ticket - we require full COVID vaccination according to the latest standards. We will be providing rapid tests to everyone with your Kinky Kit to use on the first and second day of the workshops - because we are spending intimate time together indoors, we want to do our best to manage potential risks. We may have other precautions depending on conditions closer to the date.

What do I need to bring?

We will have kinky tools for you to experiment with and we’ll point you in the direction of our fav retailers. No pressure to bring any of these things, we will have a ton of kinky equipment for you to explore, but if you’re feeling in the mood bring:

• Kinky outfits (optional)

• Comfortable clothing

• Your kink toys, gear or pervertables

How is this different or better than just booking a trip to a dungeon on my own?

We are actually teaching you kink skills! Yes, you could probably go to a kink conference, but at conferences, you typically don’t get to practice. Not only will you be able to practice and hone your skills, you will also get focused instruction with a small group of like-minded individuals who are eager to learn just as much as you are. We are committed to building your kink confidence, creativity and techniques.

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Read Testimonials from Oakland Kinky Tapas here